SPOOF: Kayani meets ISI 'dirty tricks' man

Pakistan army chief Gen. Kayani was worried. He had called Gen. Mushtaq, the head of the dirty tricks department of the ISI.

Kayani was exasperated with Mushtaq. He was the chief of the army but even he did not know what the ISI was up to.

But the Taliban creeping into Buner had him worried and so he called Mushtaq for a meeting.

"What on earth is going on in Swat?, Kayani demanded indignantly.

"Nothing, sir," Mushtaq said and winked.

"Stop winking, you idiot."

But that is or style, sir. We always put on a serious face in front of India, and the US and deny everything. And then we wink."

"Well, stop winking now," Kayani said stentoriously."Things are getting bad in the Swat."

"I can't." said Mushtaq," before I used to wink by intent, now the winking happens by itself. Some pulled muscle in the face, I think."

"Never mind the winking, Kayani said, as Mushtaq winked again,"I order you to stop helping the Taliban now."

"But it is our holy duty to help all the militants whether in Kashmir or in Afghanistan. Kashmir is India's weak point, where as we do not want to give up our leverage in Afghanistan, do we? if the Taliban is wiped out there the Americans will stop giving us money," Mushtaq explained.

"I know that, you imbecile, but if the Taliban starts engulfing Pakistan, then one day you and me will be out of our jobs. They have their own fighters, they will not need people like us then."

Mushtaq looked confused. "You mean to say we stop helping the Taliban? After all we created them. Even Zardari said so yesterday."

Kayani was livid."Don't talk of that man. He is blabbering things like that now because the Americans are thinking of dumping him for either us or Nawaz Sharif. Anyway, stop helping the Taliban now. That's an order."

Yes sir," Mushtaq said and winked.

Kayani clutched his head.